It's More Than What We Say

Have you ever had someone frustrated with you, not for something you said, but for the way you said it?

Have you ever felt hurt by what someone said, not because of the words, but for the tone, posture, or body language of the person saying it?

We all know that communicating with the people around us, is so much more than simply saying the right words. We speak with our tone, our body language, our choice of words and how we approach the listener. 

The truth is, tone and language help get us there, but if they’re based in something that isn’t real or sincere in us, people can tell.

Say the right words, with the right posture, and the right tone, but if beneath it all, is dishonest motivation or insincere effort; you’ll find it very well may have been better to say nothing at all.

How is that possible? How can two sets of words, with almost identical language have such differing response or reception?

In Proverbs 12:18 it says, “There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” 

Words matter, and strategically choosing our words is wise, but thinking the simple step of choosing the right words is everything, will only leave us coming up short in our conversations with others.

People really matter, and they are worthy of our best communication efforts. Our best efforts however, are more than just our words, it’s all the parts attached to it. 

If our heart is to really connect and communicate with others, these are some helpful practices for us to consider.

What tone are we using and what posture do we stand in as we communicate? How often are we interrupting people, eager to get our point of view in the conversation? How often do we raise our voice, or raise the temperature of the conversation because it serves a personal gain for us? 

Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes it’s subtle; either way, it is worthy of our attention. 

So consider the conversations you may have been struggling with lately, consider some of these perspectives as you think over a conversation that went sideways on you. Do you see some things you can do differently next time? 

Let’s take the time to consider and learn from our conversations, so the next time we can do a better job communicating and listening. 

Proverbs 18:2 “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”  

We aren’t fools, so let’s not obsess over just getting our opinion out there, rather, let’s do a great job connecting in a healthy positive way with the people around us.

We will be, and certainly the others around us, will be so glad we did!

Daniel Sabo